2013: Review and the Ever Present Future.

Welcome to my new “sometimes post”.

2013 is wrapping up, and once again I’m a year older, a year wiser, and still in awe of time (and how fast it moves once you reach your twenties; make it stop!)

2013 has been an interesting year, good and bad. A lot of self discovery, and a lot of learning, and a lot of learning to try over again, and again. Some in very painful ways, and others in very positive-life-affirming ways (oh yeah!)

So without further ado I give you the highlights of my year: …

January- July: A lot of self-growth, and a lot of emotions I still had to work through. This period of 2013 was just spent internally angry and frustrated. Granted, by the time summer hit, I was incredibly distracted with the beauty of Maine and my desire to go explore exponentially put all of those emotions on the sidelines.

July-August: We moved to our new apartment, I love this apartment, not only because we’re on the west end, or because of how awesome it is, and pretty it is– but because it is ours, and we looked for it together.

August-November: There was a lot of growth, it helps that I have a wonderful other momma who is willing to listen, and help me process life, love, and all things.

November-December: A lot of communication, and self-realization has brought life back to the wonderful. The process was difficult, but the end result is here, and it’s absolutely breath-taking; and that’s all you need to know.

… now to the future; because that’s really where it’s at.

I did this last year on the blog, but my goals for the coming year:

  • First and foremost not be ashamed of who I am, what I stand for, and what I believe in. I am me, utterly and beautifully me– and I should never be shamed into thinking otherwise. I am who I am, because of my journey and what I have learned along the way. Essentially: love myself. confidence.
  • Sell my bike for parts, so I can get a road bike– and seriously bike more often. I love being on a bike, I just haven’t been on one since summer of 2012. Partly because the brakes on my bike are shot… but still.
  • Par down my wardrobe again/belongings.
  • Save more money, and make a solid budget.
  • Yoga, yoga, and more yoga (set a weekly schedule of at least one session a week–whether it’s at home or at Yogave). I’ve been good about going, just my current schedule doesn’t allow for semblance of a set time or day.
  • Be happy, be graceful, be humble, and continue with always wanting to learn more. 
  • Read more, and be willing to always have “me time”. 
  • Be always communicative, for everything; but on the flip-side know when to just “be”. 
  • and finally…grow mentally, spiritually, physically (in a healthy way), and relationship-wise. Always, always grow. 

I’ve been spending time with the book: A Year with Hafiz Daily Contemplations by Daniel Ladinsky and I just caught up to today’s date in it, but for December 19th it had a daily “contemplation” that pretty much hit closely to what love is, for me. The hope, fear, and wanting of security; but the blessed unrest of how uneasy it can make you feel, and these feelings are all very good.

About Being More Secure- Hafiz

“They touch us, don’t they? So many things in different ways. And then those feelings can last for years in varying degrees.

Are not our days and hours our response to what we have felt?

We circle inside what we love, what we fear, what we hope.

The mind is like a falcon, ever ready with its sight on its choice prey-beauty. For nothing satisfies like Her taste.

A holy infant, taken from God’s womb, is each creature.

What happened to your royal attendant? Who allowed you to crawl to places that can give you the feeling, at times, of dread?

This poem was longer by some 20 lines, but I let them go back to where they came from, some shop in the ethers.

There’s enough here to contemplate as is. My humming is winding down. My favorite season of love has approached… quiet.

Most live before dawn and become overwhelmed wit the frightening noises, ideas in your house and mind.

You know what I mean, about being more secure with the light on.”

Happy New Year. Happy 2014.

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