This week has been one of those weeks, in which I have been able to see my faults/and or strengths shoved back in my face, often times it’s a eye-opener. This week has been relatively stress free— compared to the last two weeks. I finally got my homework and work schedule under control, discovered my delight in free wi-fi and late nights at Starbucks with Amanda, Darlene, and even Catie. Sure my sleep schedule gets put on the line, but to some extent it’s about the same as always. I’m a night owl, that’s how I survive my semesters at ISU; late nights of homework. Speaking of which— I’m taking three online courses this semester. One I will pass with flying colors, the other two by the skin of my neck.
Slowly but surely— I’m saving my grades. One test, and discussion board at a time. I really wish Ivy Tech were not so into discussion boards; I really don’t understand the whole “tell me how you feel about this concept” concept of them, it’s like a touchy-feely way of saying. Look I’m doing this for a grade, sure it’s a interesting piece of work— but, why is this concept of the work THAT IMPORTANT? Anyways, I digress.
Last night I spent time with Darlene, Amanda, Catie and Courtnie; doing what I’ve been doing in my spare time— homework. It was a interesting conversation in which I was forced to reveal a portion of myself in which I was not comfortable digressing to certain parties. It made me realize that I’m such a big fan of privacy—and that really in this age I don’t have privacy- HOWEVER, I feel that I can pick and choose what people know. I wish people would get that, I tell you things not to blab to the rest of the world. However, this time also made me realize how very precious socializing is to me; and how very precious those around me are.
I spent much of my spring semester loathing those around me— for their inability to relate, and for my inability to be who they wanted me to be. I guess that’s how life rolls however. I was MISERABLE! I wanted to be Portland with my best friend, and I wanted to be out of a land-locked state. Recently I’ve rediscovered that want through conversations. However, I can look past that to see the luck of friends I have. I love being back home, I have a support group; and I can be myself. However, I just wish people wouldn’t share info, that I confide to them in SECRET, not all of us are comfortable being you, hun.;)
Also I just wanted to say that this week has been a eye-opener, being able to see the struggle, and wanting to help my best friend in her willingness to be busy, but want of socialization is a totally hard balance— and her and her family are a total support, and she is one of my role models, be strong! Also, I want to help you in whatever ways I can; you mean so much, as does your family and daughters!
I have to say though I’m super lucky to have such a wonderful mother, fiance, and friends.
1,000 miles of support away is always nice (thank you lovey)— a willing ear from a mother is lovely, and the good conversation is a plus.
This is just what I needed, and if anyone wants to help me get wedding executing things done, let me know I’ll take the help.
I will make it through this summer; classes, Decemberists concert, trip to Portland, I’m such a lucky girl.
Fall semester, graduation and a wedding. It’s all moving so fast; I’ll also be 23, when did this happen.
Oh hey, I’m considering getting a tat on my foot— thoughts, anyone want to go with?
.. Life, ah life.
I leave you with this.
“Rox in the Box” – The Decemberists (my fave song…)
Get the rocks in the box
Get the water right down to your socks
This bulkhead’s built of fallen brethren bones
We all do what we can
We endure our fellow man
And we sing our songs to the headframes’ creaks and moans
And it’s one two three
On the wrong side of the lee
What were you meant for?
What were you meant for?
And it’s seven eight nine
You get your shuffle back in line
And if you ever make it to ten you won’t make it again
And you won’t make a dime
On this gray Granite Mountain Mine
Of dirt you’re made and to dirt you will return
So while we’re living here
Let’s get this little one thing clear
There’s plenty of men to die; you don’t jump your turn