Strength in Numbers

Dear world, Dear God…

“I want to hear you say, who I am is quite enough/just want to be worthy of love/ and beautiful…”-Bethany Dillon.

My life is so crazy, so awesome, so wonderful, and such a blessing, and yet my soul still yearns for an unexplainable answer. I get so bogged, so stressed, and I forget that I am not alone. I try to do it myself, and then I get mad. I forget that I am worthy… and I get so lost in the past, that sometimes it’s hard to find me. I want to be able to believe- that I am strong, that I have a strong faith, and that… I have the ultimate papa constantly on my side. I want that unquestionably.

I don’t want people to think that I judge them, or believe that they are bad- because I have a faith, that tends to hypocritically judge others. I don’t believe that God made us to judge others. That’s his job, not mine. My job is to be the light for a starving world. My job is to be an advocate for those- who have no voice. I don’t want to tell you that you deserve this, or that. That will never be my place in the grand scheme of ideas. I want to love. I want everyone to feel worthy. Even, if I don’t always… I know I’ve still have a ways to go on my confidence. It’s slowly appearing. I have awesome people to thank for that. My mother, grandma,  Kyle, My closest friends, everyone who has believed in me- even when I don’t. I look up to you. For all that you do.

It’s not my job to judge, especially when I myself am not a perfect person. Just a person with a large amount of love, a large amount of humor, and love for the heavenly papa that cannot be wavered.

Stop judging.

Live to be an advocate, even if it is for the simplest idea.

and love… unwavering.

Dear heavenly papa,

Give me the strength to be. To do, and to be an advocate of love… even when it is hard to laugh in your heavenly court and earthly dwelling.

Amen.

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